By now, we’re all sick of hearing about the troubles with file-sharing service Napster and music piracy, but singer SOPHIE B. HAWKINS, probably best known for her 1994 hit “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover,” took on a smaller fish in a related fight, and won.

On Tuesday, April 13, Hawkins, who identifies as “omnisexual” (your guess is as good as Dish’s) won a lawsuit in a Los Angeles Superior Court against an unnamed merchant who was selling promotional copies of her latest CD, “Wilderness,” on eBay.com for as much as $300, Reuters reports.

The album, the first to be released on Hawkins’ label Trumpet Swan Records, was released April 20.

“He was just making easy money off something that’s my blood and guts,” Hawkins said. “I had invested all of my life savings into this record, and he wouldn’t stop. He pissed me off.”

Hawkins, who will be playing live at the Birchmere in Arlington, Va., on Monday, May 3, told Reuters that she plans to use the $346 she won in the case to pay back the fans who were ripped off and then buy them real copies of the album.

Confirmed bachelors
Some residents of Selma, Ala., say speculation about whether U.S. Vice President WILLIAM RUFUS DE VANE KING, and President JAMES BUCHANAN were a gay couple is much ado about nothing.

“Buchanan and King were lovers,” claims author and historian James W. Loewen, who stated this in his 1999 book “Lies Across America: What Our Historic Sites Get Wrong.”

Daniel Fate Brooks, a leading authority on King, told the Associated Press that he is often asked about the relationship between King and Buchanan. “Hardly a month goes by that someone doesn’t call,” he says.

But the allegation angers members of the Selma chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution, which is named for King. “It’s certainly nothing people in Selma talk about,” chapter regent Edna Ledyard said. “It’s a myth. Nobody has any way to prove it or disprove it.”

King and Buchanan met in 1834 and shared a house together starting in 1836, according to Loewen. At the time, critics referred to King, a major slave owner, as “Buchanan’s wife.” Andrew Jackson, the nation’s seventh president, described King as “Miss Nancy,” a slang term for effeminate men at the time.

King was nominated as Franklin Pierce’s vice president and inaugurated in March 1853, but died of tuberculosis less than a month later. Buchanan became president in 1857 and is the only person to hold that office who never married.

Off the wall
MICHAEL JACKSON just can’t seem to avoid the limelight these days.

The New York Daily News reports that the tabloid National Enquirer’s latest allegation against the pop star comes from SCOTT THORSON, an ex-boyfriend of the late pianist LIBERACE.

Thorson apparently passed a polygraph test in which he claims he had a sexual relationship with Jackson.

“[Michael] felt comfortable enough to make the first move on me, and I didn’t resist,” he says, claiming their two interludes happened in the early ‘80s. “Michael begged me to leave Liberace. I had to say no.”

Thorson claims that while hanging out with Jackson, he twice saw gay porn magazines on Jackson’s nightstand, one of which had pictures that “looked like young boys.”

STEVE COCHRAN, the attorney defending Jackson against a child molestation allegation, dismissed Thorson’s story as “false trash.”

Liberace kicked Thorson out of his home in 1982 for an addiction to painkillers. Thorson later sued the Las Vegas legend for palimony.

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