Houston, we have a problem. It’s the heat, dear GLBT readers! “It’s not the heat — it’s the humidity”… is a lie. It IS the heat: Our sister Frank Billingsley even has a heat index! Purpose? How hot it feels outside, not actually is, just feels like 125. Ugh.

However, my wrinkle-free skin thanks you, Bayou City, and so does my dry cleaner because the A/C in my car is nearly out and it shows. Ugh.

Therefore I am looking for things to do inside this week.

I must admit I am a TV baby, born and raised. Friends make fun of me; recently PR guru Paula Murphy saw that I highlight my TV Guide for the coming week and laughed herself off her chair. That’s right — I highlight my guide…since I lost TIVO it’s not been the same. This week I looked around to spy, with my gay little eye, what’s on the small screen.

As faithful readers know, I’ve mentioned the near tidal wave of gays and lesbians on network and cable TV recently.

From the real-life examples, the Amazing Race 4’s Richen and Chip, to Smithers on The Simpsons, members of our “family” are everywhere.

Yet I must say Bravo to Bravo…the network that is.

Premiering Tuesday, July 15, at 9 p.m. (CST), this NBC sister network is breaking new ground with “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”

This unscripted lifestyle makeover series exposes Middle America’s secret love of (queer) style out of the closet and into the open. We’ve done their hair and their homes for years, and now we’re going to do their men! Re-do, that is.

The premise? Let me introduce “The Fab Five.” Tune into Bravo or log onto BravoTV.com for a look at these hotties: Ted Allen, food and wine connoisseur; Kyan Douglas, grooming guru; Thom Filicia, design doctor; Carson Kressley, fashion savant; and Jai Rodriguez, culture vulture.

Lest you think them insignificant, who are these supposed faboo five? A contributing editor to Esquire, Aveda Institute grad and off-Broadway star, just to name a few attributes.

Their mission? To take a willing straight male subject who wants to get the girl, get the job or simply get the look.

Can you dig it? The program is yet another reality show, yes, but the significance is sublime. Really, even the use of the word queer, in a positive light, is a giant step forward in the understanding of and…hmmm…what’s the word? …encouragement, acquiescence to fabulous gay men.

You can almost hear it: “Well, he does dress impeccably, knows his wine and his eyebrows look better than mine!”

An Associated Press article asked, “Want to transform a schlub of a husband or boyfriend into one who’s attractive and socially adept? Get the right man for the job — the right GAY man!”

Clearly the series is looking to tear down stereotypes, not add to them. “Just because you get your gay card doesn’t mean you know how to arrange flowers,” series creator David Collins says in media reports. ‘“One thing the show is saying is if you look better, if you feel better, its part of overall confidence-building…take the time to have a manicure, a shave, cut your hair…get some highlights. It doesn’t make you gay.”

Collins is adamant that at its core, the show is not about gay or straight.“It’s about guys helping guys. Gay or straight, we all want to look good, feel good and have great shoes, of course.”

Check out the transformation Tuesday nights at 9 p.m. on Bravo.

Bravo keeps the closet doors swinging with its other Sizzling Summer reality series: “Boy meets Boy,” which debuts this month.

“Boy Meets Boy” follows a handsome gay leading man for eight days in a luxurious location with 15 potential bed…er, soul mates! However, like most “reality” programs, this one has a hook: Some of the potential suitors are actually heterosexual but were asked by producers to act homosexual.

"The idea is to have the straight men there to really challenge the audience's preconceived notions of what is gay and what is straight," Kirk Marcolina, the show's supervising producer, told Reuters.

"Boy Meets Boy" also features a trusted female friend to whittle down the prospects. Ala the Bachelorette, surely “Fag Hag” is in the works next! I’ve already registered the idea, so don’t try it!

This programming combination stirred a bit of controversy in opposing political camps last month. The Traditional Values Coalition’s executive director Andrea Lafferty stated, “Just when you think programming can’t get any worse, it seems like it drops another 100 feet to an even darker place. Clearly, they’ve hit a new low. What’s next after ‘Boy Meets Boy’? ‘Boy Meets Sheep’?”

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